About Friendships

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” popularized by speaker Jim Rohn. There are variations of this idea, such as the popular saying, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.”

Truth is, there are several studies that point to the fact that friendships will determine your longevity better than wealth or nutrition. Additionally, people with close friends are happier than those whitout them. So, if we already know these things, why don’t we act different?

I’m not trying to burst your bubble, but human relationships are hard, they require commitment, showing up, and specially, letting your guard down. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front on these people, building that strong foundation block by block.

Truth be told, I’m a work in progress when it comes to friendships. Growing up, I had more people hurt me than welcome me, which affected my approach to relationships. This is the reason I’m eager to show you the importance of nurturing good relationships in your life.

We often times romanticize friendships in TV shows or in movies (I grew up watching Friends, so that’s my golden standard of how friends should be) but we rarely take the steps necessary to build such a strong relationship like the ones we aspire to have.

Let me share with you a few tips that have helped me along the way:

• Allow yourself, when possible, to reach out to a friend when you’re feeling low. Opening up to people lets them know you count of them, makes them feel helpful, even to the point where they feel inclined to share with you when they feel bad further down the line, and overall builds strong relationships overtime.
• Make it a habit of hanging out with your friends, or those people you wish to call friends. Most times, we feel fearful of rejection when reaching out for people, but I’ve noticed that these fears are mostly in my head. Once I reach to a friend and ask them to go out for dinner or just watch a sports game, it ends up being a great time.
• Recognize that every friend in your life could serve a different purpose. You may feel more inclined to talk about life and the future with a friend, but ask another one for dating tips, and hang out with a third one because they love trying out new restaurants in the area. We all have our own individualities, and just because a particular friend cannot be your go-to for everything, doesn’t mean you should cut them out of your life.
• Don’t be afraid of rethinking your friends once in a while. I get it. People change, situations change. You may have to make the decision of spending less time with an old friend because they no longer align with the person you want to become, and that’s ok.
• Knowing that we live in a interconnected world, some of us will have friends that for one reason or another, they live in a different city -or country- than us, and communication can become hard. Please make an effort to maintain these friendships as well, as most people moving to a new environment, have a difficult time making friends in the first months/years after they move, but also keep in mind not to live your life ignoring the people next to you by talking to ‘invisible’ people on the phone. There is time to keep up with both groups, while respecting the other.

Finally, with the current state of the world and technology, many messages on social media emphasize outcomes without really taking the time to take the necessary steps to get there, aiming to 'change your life overnight'. Building friendships takes time, but they will ultimately make you live a happier, longer life.

Let's become the kind of friends that people around us aspire to be.